your thong is hanging out like whoa
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She is in my trunk
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
