you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
