Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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