i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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