i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
