Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
