Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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