did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize