just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
