So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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