its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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