I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
