Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
