no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
