I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
