We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm getting married
To pizza
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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