What a fucking waste of an outfit
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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