? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
