Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
