Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
