11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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