Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize