I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
