i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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