its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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