Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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