just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
