You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was confusing and full of hummus
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize