Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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