WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
