To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Randomize
