are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where is the hickey?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.