I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.