You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.