You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK