laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?