Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
