i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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