Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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