I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
