Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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