I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
