i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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