This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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