i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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