week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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