And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would fuck him just for his dog
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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