Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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