apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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