Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I want to have your abortion
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
