Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
