I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize