Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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