I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
