Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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