I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
