i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
