i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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