hotel room ftw
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize