I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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