So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize