Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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