he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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