worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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