I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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