Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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