I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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