shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
