Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
