yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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