you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
