it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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