For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
