planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
