Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
